Wishes
by yue kato
Summary: Seishirou/Subaru. Yaoi. My very first fic ever.


Wishes

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yue kato

1997

I turn the page of the book and continue to read, scanning the words 

swiftly. Hmm... this is interesting. A soft whisper of breath upon the back 

of my neck... Not now, I want to read some more. Ignoring the soft caress, I 

flip to the next page. Gentle fingers kneading my shoulders, soothing aches 

that I don't realize are there at all. Closing my eyes, I pause in my reading 

and lean back slightly against those strong, loving hands. Then... a dampness 

at my ear, a small nip followed by a flick of the tongue as consolation to the 

pleasure-pain the bite caused. I feel the frissons of heat running through my 

body and with a gasping breath, surrender to the inevitable. There will be no 

more reading for me tonight...

Twisting around, I wrap my arms around his neck as his lips meet mine 

in a soft, seemingly endless kiss. By the time we part, both of us are more 

than a little breathless. I lie passively in his embrace while he runs his 

hands down my body, biting my lip to prevent myself from crying out from the 

pleasure that I feel. 

Then, he tilts my face up and I look into his eyes, eyes filled with 

so much love and caring... and gentleness. Then I see them no more, as I 

quickly close my own to prevent the tears from falling. They still roll down 

my cheeks, nonetheless.

"Subaru-kun? What's the matter?" There is great concern and worry in 

his voice... so much feeling in a voice that I remember had once spoken with 

an equal amount of impassiveness and detachment. "Why are you crying?"

I shake my head, my eyes still closed. 

"Subaru-kun? Please, open your eyes." I cannot deny the plea I hear 

in his voice, so I open my eyes and gaze up at him, my vision blurred by tears 

still flowing. "Now, tell me, what's wrong?"

I shake my head again. "Nothing... Sei-chan..." I utter the 

nickname I had overcome my natural inhibitions to use. Yet it reminds me of 

the time when Hokuto-chan was alive. A time when I didn't know how much there 

was to pain and grief, when I didn't know that betrayal could cut so deep. A 

happier time... a time when I had first fallen in love with the man in whose 

arms I now lie.

"It's just that... after Hokuto-chan was -- after she died, I never 

thought that I could remotely feel happy again," I say softly. He winces and 

I do not miss the flash of pain in his eyes as I mention the death of my twin 

sister. "It's past, Sei-chan. And you couldn't have prevented it. I miss 

her very much, and her absence hurts, but because you're here, the pain is 

bearable..."

"Isn't it odd that you would find relief in the arms of the very 

person who murdered your sister?" he asks bitterly.

"But the one who murdered my sister no longer exists," I reply gently. 

Smiling up at him, I place my hand on his cheek. "Just like Fuuma, 

Sakurazukamori was born because the Future had to be decided. Once Kamui 

defeated Fuuma, Sakurazukamori vanished, because the future that was chosen 

did not have a place for it. The only person left is Sakurazuka Seishirou, 

veterinarian cum onmyouji, but no longer an assassin. A normal Tokyo citizen. 

The love of my life. My heart and soul..." 

Tears fill my eyes again, I reach up and brush them away, but I cannot 

seem to stop more from flowing. "Strange, I usually don't cry like that 

anymore," I joked feebly. This brings back memories of all the nights when I 

would bury my face in my pillow and cry my heart out, torn between the 

extremes of love and hate. "I.. I wish --" I stop, because I know that it 

would hurt him if I voiced it out, but still... the thought comes unbidden... 

*I wish that the three of us were together.*

He tightens his hold on me and says nothing, just offering wordless 

comfort, letting me know that he will always be there for me, that he will 

never ever leave me or betray me again.

Finally, I raise my head and he gives me another kiss. The salt of my 

tears mingle with the sweetness of his mouth as the kiss becomes deeper... and 

I lose myself in the fiery heat of pleasure, the sorrow I feel receding to a 

distant corner of my mind...

Hours later, he is sleeping peacefully next to me. I am still 

wakeful, and content myself with gazing at his features. He is so beautiful, 

and he loves me so, as I love him. Isn't this what Hokuto-chan always wanted? 

If only... but that can never be, and it is pointless, my wishful thinking. A 

price had to be paid for the two of us to be together... and I can ask no 

more.

end


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